Volume IX:: September, 2002

 

"Untitled relationship":
-----------------------------------------------------

She utters- “I don’t like him sticking with us all the time”
He replies without looking at her expression -“He is guiding us.”
“Why don’t you realize that he is ruining our privacy?” no replies from him.
His friend appears in the room and immediately imagines that he has entered
the room with his wrong timing. He breaks the silence- “ Are you guys ready?
Cab is waiting for us.” Hearing that she grabs her purse and walks out from
the room, he springs from his chair and follows her. Now again there is a
silence in the room. His friend also follows them. They all meet downstairs
in the cab. The front seat is reserved for his friend and they are on the
back seat, seizing each other’s hands. They have their own ring, still
shining like a star. Couple of years back they exchanged their ring and thus
they are with his friend in a new town where they are supposed to have fun.

His friend always breaks the silence. This time too he breaks the
silence inside the cab. His friend- “today we are going to have a real fun
in that place, its …” none inside the cab is interested to listen him. She
is not happy with his friend, as she dislikes him. His appearance, his
hairstyle, his complexion almost everything. She dislikes him, as he has
never talked to her, that’s the reason. She thinks his friend is arrogant.

She thinks and thinks all the time. She thought about the
wonderful life with him. Life full of luxuries, dreams, trusts and blah,
blah. Inside the cab holding his hand she thinks to herself- “ I wish we
were all alone and no one to interfere us.” But her better half is not
thinking at all. He is feeling drowsy and fairly uncomfortable, itchy as she
is holding his hand. He wants to be free but he is not attempting for it,
just imagine his situation. He is an entrepreneur holding a big empire of
his own. He has power and possession.
He has an object that every man demands. He has got everything almost
everything except one head that shall take over after him. But his friend is
not wealthy like him so for him he is unhappy. He possesses only one title
‘bachelor’. He thinks he has his friend, yet another man who thinks a lot.

Cab stops somewhere near woods, place that is very far from city
area; place where they saw few less civilized faces. She slides down the
window of the cab and engulfs fresh air. She feels nice. He looks around and
says- “well I guess, this is your place.” His friend replies- “ yes, I
always
Wanted to bring you here. Isn’t this place romantic?” her voice is added-
“Indeed, I must explore this place.” This was the first time she talked to
him.
Her new connection with a new man.

His friend takes them to the hotel where they will stay for
three days and four nights. He is a man who counts a lot. He doesn’t think
like them but he calculates. His each and every second are precious for him.
Five days, maybe more that enough for him to prove his love to her. “Five
days, I think I am hampering my business like this.” He recalculates. His
friend loves nature; he thinks man should always be close to the nature. She
is far more than excited in that place.

The evening hours, time for wine, dinner and lots of chatting.
She calls it “fun”. She is dedicated chatter. She loves chatting about
literature, art, nature, and wild life almost on every topic. This time she
has a company, his friend. Their interests are matching. That’s why now they
are spending times together. How can we ignore him, obviously he is with
them but still he likes to cling with his mobile. Is he really with them?

She thanked his friend for bringing them to this place. She has
forgot what she used to think about his friend. For sometimes she even
forgot about the ring, although he is there with her. She is keenly looking
at the butterfly scanning red roses. She is maintaining the silence. His
friend breaks the silence as usual-
“Are you a poet?”
“What makes you think so?”
“ The way you are gazing at roses and butterfly flattering its wings, only
a poet can stare them for such along time.” Yet another silence, the
butterfly flies away and she replies-“Well I do write but my poems are
always uncompleted and untitled.” His friend easily grasps the hidden
meaning-
“Write the poem about the red roses and the butterfly, this time I will help
you to complete it.” She wants to revolt but she is mute. He knowingly
shifts from poems to culture then their conversation goes on. He kills the
time with her. Its already dusk. He has left the place, they didn’t realize.
His friend feels awkward. They again meet in the hotel room. Time for wine,
dinner, chatting and more fun. He talks about his meeting with different
icons of the society and they get bore. There is a burning candle on the
center table. She is looking intently at it. She says-“my life is like that
burning candle.” She is stopped by the wild laugh of his. He laughs at her
as if he has heard a joke. Its already expected by the capitalist like him.
His friend is still with them.
Every dawn brings new excitements inside her and she wants it to
share with him. He participates, he is obliged. His friend is always found
sticking with them. Initially he insisted but now she also insists his
friend to be with them. The chemistry between them, she is inquisitive and
he is helpful.

The fourth night, tomorrow they will leave the place. The fourth
night, night for celebration, night for more wine. She and his friend are
chatting and he tries to interrupt with his business stuffs but fails. This
is the third night where his attempts went in vain. Each one in the room
gets chance to raise a topic and end it up. The night grows older she
starts-
“We are born alone but live in society, I hate this.”
“What you dislike, dislike to born alone or live in society?” his friend.
“I don’t know”
“What I cant understand..” she interrupts.
“Can’t we break this invisible chain, why aren’t we free?”
Her desperate eyes pricks him so this time he thinks for a while and-
“We are free but our freedom is within four walls, outside we are bounded.”
“Is that a freedom for you?”
“At least we are enjoying the freedom within the boundary.”
“Why this boundary, can we break them?”
His friend is unable to convince her but still he efforts-
“Man can’t escape from culture. His envy, anger, disgust, love or
anxieties are human nature. These are hereditary and each generation tries
to keep it up as a culture. One has to perform his duty no matters
what..”His friend’s answer brings no change to her gazing eyes. His friend
realizes that he was talking to himself. He stops. The familiar silence
walks between them; his friend is unable to perform his duty of breaking the
silence. The silence is still prevailing.

This time her tears break the silence. She starts weeping; she
surrenders herself on the lap of his friend’s. His friend, unable to
understand the unforeseen meaning. She grumbles- “I am alone, alone in …a
crowd..” Her uncontrolled tears soften the heart of his friend and his
trembling fingers walk over her hair, she raises her volume. His friend
founds himself powerless in front of her. He tries to calm her down with his
warm and soft lips. She feels his friend embracing her.

They don’t know when he slept. His presence was ignored. He is
ignorant of the freedom, ignorant of the open secret inside the four walls.
He is murmuring in his sleep- “fi..ve..day..s”.
After few months she publishes her poem, poem that is complete. His
friend helped on it but the poem still went untitled. Readers demanded for
the title, “title?” she thinks, she keeps on thinking with his friend about
it.
They think therefore they are.

Their rings are still shining, shining more than before to dazzle
the inquiring eyes of others and to coat her and his friend’s untitled
relationship.



Rabindra Joshi
Samakhushi, Kathmandu, Nepal

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