Maternity

"I don't give him any food today. If anybody gives, will be punished." Subhadra mumbles latching the door from outside.

Subhadra had a small world. She said to all that this was her heaven. Husband and two children were her everything. Children had grown up. The son was studying in class nine and the daughter in three.

She got bored sometimes because of her son's misbehaviors though she had all other pleasures. He did some mischievous work everyday but was brilliant in his study. His all misbehaviours were made as nothing (would be counted as nothing) because of his study. Today he broke the glass of the window of a neighbour by his sling. The neighbour got angry with Subhadra. Subhadra made him quiet with compensation & she had locked him (Roshan) in the room because of this anger.

"Promising plant has smooth leaves, an unpromising one has rough leaves. He never gave me peace and comfort. How long can I defend him? I will complain everything today to his father about him when his father comes. I have never complained against him lest he beats him. He is growing more mischievous day by day. I don't care anything for his defense now. Loving more has been more to him," Subhadra remains mumbling.

She startles by hearing a knock at the door. She sees younger sister of her father in law. She is surprised to see her after a long time. She welcomes her in cheerful mood. She had come to take shelter in their home, on the way to Banaras where she as well as her few friends was going. Her friends had gone in a hotel lodge.

Ghanashyam, husband of Subhadra, arrives from his office before they end their talking. Ghanashyam is also happy to see her after many years. Both of them start talking. Ghanashyam inquires her about her neighbours. Subhadra gets in the kitchen to prepare food. She calls to all but Roshan for meal after she prepares. 'Where is Roshan today?" Ghanashyam asks sitting on a tool.

"Don't talk about him. Everything has limitation. No attempts have been useful to make him better. Hari (neighbour) complained me today for he broke the glass of his window. I have locked him in the room threatening he doesn't get any food today."

"Why do you complain to me about him? He is so because of yours over love. I know nothing between you. I am very hungry, please serve me some food."

"Don't blame me for this all. He is growing worse because of your negligence. You always speak in this way without caring his activities. Scold him sometimes."

"Let me eat in peace. Don't mumble for the time being" Ghanashyam says putting a mouthful rice.

"It's ok, stay without being worried! Let him ruin his life!" Subhadra keeps quiet with rage.

Ghanashyam and his aunt (father’s sister) go to their room. Daughter, Radha is eating. Subhadra can't eat keeping her son away from food. With full of tears in her eyes, she says to her daughter, "Daughter, take this rice to your brother. Say him you brought the rice in mother's absence in the kitchen but don't say I sent it."

'Why mother?' she asks with curiosity.

"Don't inquire, whatever the matter be! Take it for him & don't forget my words."

"Ok mother, I will say him I brought it myself." Radha goes to the room with plateful rice.

Subhadra starts her kitchen work after she has a little food. Roshan listens attentively a whispering sound in his father's room when he hears coming back from the bathroom

"Ghanashyam" aunt says, "I felt sad today, I felt sad today"
'Why aunt?'

"Subhadhra is treating Roshan as a step-mother though she shows her love in words. Whose children aren't mischievous in this age? She shouldn't restrict him to have food for such a minor mistake. She is encouraging you to beat him complaining against him. If there was his own mother in her place, couldn't eat full of her stomach keeping her son hungry."

'Oh,.. No aunt, she hasn't done as you say. What she can do when son himself is so. Let's not be bothered about their affairs.'

"Don't say so. Stepmother is stepmother. Would he have to sleep with hungry stomach if his mother was still alive?"

Stepmother! Stepmother!! Stepmother!!! The word give echo to his ears. He can't control himself & comes to his room. A swirl of feeling can be seen in his eyes & starts to weep with his face down to the bed.

'Mother' what radiance of love has with the word 'mother! But how painful & desert like becomes when 'step' is added! Stepmother! What sort of word is it? A bitter attachment with mother! It seems the word 'step' is an added insult to the pious word 'mother.' The word 'step' makes the value of 'mother' unbelievable, gives a jerk on the prestige of mother. Is the attachment of the word 'step' really bitter? Does the word 'step' not have any affection? Can children place the stepmothers to fill the thirst of their own mothers? Thousand of such questions are annexed with this relation, which have no clear answer. Time & situation can only answer the questions. Let's ask the answer to the families who are entangled with such situation.

The flood of his feelings lessens a bit after he weeps a long time. He doesn't believe himself to get her as a stepmother to whom he was worshipping as mother. But he doubts because of her treats on him. He thinks the punishment of restriction on having food as an anger of a stepmother while usually he was taking such punishments as the treats for the betterment of his life. Whole night, he recalls such events passed with his mother (now stepmother). The events of 'tying him' in the childhood for he fought with his friends, 'beating him' for he beat his younger sister, 'not allowing' to have food today and 'food giving' secretly by his sister.

Such events make his heart feel bitter. A kind of strange feeling of hatred or anger arises in him. He tears the photograph on which he is with his mother, being under the influence of such feelings. He starts to tattle looking into the torn pieces, "Why make a clever talk time to time saying 'my dear son' if such was the treating. Would I have to undergo such situations if her love was true?" Has she ever abused her daughter? All the delicious foods are given to her and for me as a street boy. Yes, I had thought everybody has to love theirs small child but this was not so. This was discrimination. At least my father could know what a stepmother is like though I didn't know much about her; But father is quiet himself even he sees such a great discrimination between sister and me. 'God! Would I have to face such miserable days if there was my mother?' Mother! Where are you mother? Why do you keep quiet knowing all my miserable days? 'Are you not hurt a bit?' Mother! Mother!!" (tear burst from his eyes)

Aunt leaves early in the morning, next day. Ghanashyam also goes to leave aunt with his daughter (Ghanashayam has holiday on the day). Subhadra goes to Roshan's room with a cup of tea. Ghanashayam is sleeping with his face covered." Babu (son), get up for tea," –Subhadra wakes him removing the quilt form his face.

Roshan turns to the corner with anger. Sitting by the side of bed & caressing his head says, "Are you still angry with your mother? This is because of your mind. Are you still a child? When will you have knowledge when you haven't yet?"

Subhadra starts to give some lessons. The rage of Roshan is growing. It's about to burst. Removing the caressing hands of Subhadra, thinking as the hands of an enemy, says, "No! No!! it's so much clever talk. What use of pretending when there is no love in heart. Why love to the son of co-wife (other's son). Care me not".


Subhadra becomes dry & startled. She can't think anything for a moment. The tears burst when she realizes the depth of his sentence. She returns to her room not speaking a single word and changes her clothes. She sits to write keeping some sets of clothes in the suitcase. She moves out the house keeping her pen & the written page on the table. Her feet were leading her to nowhere. No destination she had. A great storm was whirling in her. She didn't know where the storm would throw her.

Ghanashyam returns to his house after the (aunt's) bus leaves. He asks to Roshan about mother when he doesn't see Subhadra at home. "I don't know." Roshan says in a fretful manner. A chill arises in Ghanashyam's heart listening his reply. Ghanashyam asks to the neighbours thinking she is somewhere around. One of the neighbours, Ram says, "She was going carrying a suitcase." Ghanashyam rushes to the room. Everything is in proper order. He sees a paper on the table and reads. The paper reads: -

Roshan's father,
My devotion of these years has been collapsed. I can't stay as a stepmother degrading me from mother. God is as witness. Roshan took me as stepmother what I had never thought. I thought I was responsible for my son. I punished and scolded him. But these all rights were already taken away by the word 'step'. Please, beg excuse with him for all the misbehaviours I did. Excuse me yourself; I am going leaving your company forever. Roshan is not my stepson though I am his stepmother. So I always wish his prosperity. Don't create any such situation that makes them (son & daughter) feel they have no mother. If you can try to be both father & mother. Leave them not as orphans.
Subhadra

Ghanashyam can't think anything after reading the letter. His love towards Subhadra grows more. His legs can hardly support him. He asks to Roshan controlling himself. Roshan says everything he had in his mind. After he listens these all, he gives the letter to Roshan to read. Roshan stuns for a while and says to his father." Would she have to leave the house for such a minor mater?"

'This minor thing is the seed of being stepmother' Ghanashyam making alert to his conscience. You have no knowledge to understand the difference between mother & stepmother. You were so lucky to get such loving mother after the death of your mother, in childhood. Listen, how much she loved you. She was your aunt (mothers' younger sister) she started to take your care after your mother's death. She was studying in B.A. at the time. She left her study for you to take care. There were hundreds of boys to marry such a well-mannered girl but without having any choice, she put the proposal of marriage one -day, without any shyness. She did so lest you would be treated badly if there was any other woman in the place of your mother." My father wouldn't agree if I remained unmarried. Neither I can take him with me marrying with other man (boy). So if you are marrying someone other, please marry me for the sake of this child."

She ignored my attempts for not marrying her. I knew she wanted to stand more as your mother than my wife. She had just accepted me as your father. She decided & declared in front of has parents that she was marrying with me. We married too. She became stepmother from small mother after her marriage but also she never loved you less. We left our village & came away from relative thinking you would feel unpleasant to know she was your stepmother if somebody told you.

She had made me promise something that you shouldn't know her as your stepmother. I was obeying the promise up to these days. She didn't sleep for nights for you. She quarreled with me for many things in your favour. She had had a cried happiness when you uttered a word mother for the first time for her. The bigger you grew, the more brightness was added in her face. She sometimes said excitedly overwhelmed by happiness, "Look! Roshan's father, how big is our son is! Isn't he a support in our old age?" My eyes would fill with tears realizing her greatness. One day while we were talking, I said her, "Don't you think sometimes this is not the son from your own womb?" She said in a grieving voice." Who says he is not from my own womb?" How did he come in my lap just after his birth if he was not born by me? Is it the only virtue of mother giving birth to a child? Then, am I not his mother? From today I don't want to listen such words from you. If any such discrimination will come between son & me in future, I won't stay with you even a moment & you can't stop me too.

Perhaps you forgot her love but I can't forget her kindness & sublimity of feeling. You told, younger sister is loved more & you are less, but even if there was your mother, would happen the same. Younger ones are always loved more than elders. Once She had also said me she didn't need next child. But, perhaps she gave birth to a child for society only not to be dominated from it. Does a mother not have any right to scold & punish her children when they get mischievous? Do you take the same treats of your mother negatively while you were taking positively before you knew she was just your stepmother? Now, you have a doubt on her every activity done upon you. But it's not so. It's up to us. It's just a product of a narrow mental state of people. He stated everything.

Roshan has a regret when he listens to his father. The flood of tears comes in his eyes. His heart fills with full of his mother's love. He feels like crying putting his head on his mother's lap. He puts his all the evil thoughts in equivalent places of the loving cares on him. His eyes start to sweep his all misinterpretation in the form of tears. He hastens to meet his mother and apologize as soon as possible.

"Brother!' Don't cry." She sees her brother weep and says." You are the one to create such situation. Mother loves you so much. Even yesterday, she sent me the food for you telling not to say you she sent the food. She had cried at the time." Does she not really come now, brother?" She starts to weep with him too.

His heart crushes into pieces when he hears his sister. He has restlessness in his mind to fetch his mother. He startles when he gets a loving touch of his father.

"Don't cry my son. Your regretful tears sweep your every sin. Just now I phoned, your mother is in the house of Januka aunt. Go, apologize & request her to return home.

"Does she come on my request?" He fears to face his mother.

'Is there any mother who doesn't listen to her child?' She will forget everything for you when you say her 'mother!' Only. I know her heart from very near. You should never repeat such mistakes."

He feels abounding guilt when he remembers regretful work. He determines to pass his whole life under the loving care of his mother. Shortly he has a kind of extreme reverence of maternity in his mind. He forgets himself in her maternity. He goes outside in a haste recollecting loving expressions of his mother and to be embraced with her.

* Published in Garima