Having Said That II : "Kung Fu"

An unimaginable leap from one bamboo tree to another, Monkey like behavior
with extraordinary ability to strike with deadly force. They call him the
“Monkey Master”. The opponent has more of a serpentine character, with
hands often mimicking the hood of a venomous king Cobra. He is the Ultimate
“Snake King”. The battle between these two characters is the storyline of
then very popular movie- Monkey in Snake Kung Fu. Never to forget the
conspicuous twist in the movie brilliantly portrayed by always drunk- the
“Drunk Master” whose Blood Alcohol level is always equal to or more than 0.1
BAC.

The crowded “Makhan Galli” video parlors back in 1986 were showing
exceptional movies like above mentioned “Monkey in Snake Kung Fu” and series
of other “Saoling” movies with characters that were all bald. If my memory
serves me correctly, I was probably in my 7th grade back then. The Kung Fu
mania was so strong and irresistible that we used to skip school and go to
these movies in forever winding Makhan gallies. At that time the entrance
fee was Five Rupees. However, money was no object for us nor was school,
for a good Kung Fu movie we would even skip our own “Bartabandha”. We were
the budding Kung Fu fanatics on the south side of China.

Back then “Makhan” was an amazing part of Kathmandu. The interconnected
gallies and choks of Makhan were more complicated than the caves of Tora
Bora. Had Al Queda took refuge in Makhan as they did in Tora bora, my guess
is no one in this Universe would have been able to hunt them down. Thank
god they did not know about our Makhan at that time. Anyways, Makhan was
the best part of the city to foster numerous Mini Video theatres. And so
these theatres did thrive there despite the ban imposed by the government on
them.

Finding the right movies in the Makhan Galli was often tricky. One had to
rely heavily on the Movie promoters who stood on the main street leading to
one of the gallies. These promoters were often Children with the box of the
movie their theatre were showing. If one decides to see a movie, these
promoters would lead one through several snaky Gallies and Choks to some
dingy room, usually 2nd or higher floor, in Newari Style house. People
would be sitting on straw matte called Sukul. Even in the middle of winter,
this room would be thermo set at 95 degrees. There would be couple of
rotating fans roaring to full speed. These fans, however, would be used to
cool down the VCR which is locally called “Deck” and the TV monitor called
“Screen”. After all with mere five rupees, one could not ask for too much
comfort. All this uneasiness and discomfort would soon disappear with the
start of KUNG FU scenes. These movies were highly charged with excitement
with English dubbing and Chinese subtitles. But nobody cared about the
“dialogues”, or the constant poking by straw strings facing in heavenly
direction towards our gluteus maximas. At the end, the good guy-the Monkey
Master finally overpowers the evil Snake master and everyone lets the breath
of relief that the good has prevailed over evil once more just like in
“Ramayana”. So in a way Kung Fu movies are the Chinese version of our
“Ramayana”.

Getting out of the room was marked by fresh air gushing in from all
direction. If there is such thing as hell and heat associated with it then
the experiences in Makhan Mini theatre would be the closest to it.

With new acquired skills and newly bought Kung Fu Shoes with flat bottom, we
would perform stunts more daring than the movies. I think we did almost all
acts and more. The one thing we got sort of doing is shave our heads. We
did what we called the “Y” split. Basically to knock someone down in a snap
of a kick, you would need to swing your legs in anti-clockwise fashion with
lightening speed. With your hip joint flexed to the max, this flexi-swing
is impossible without cracking the hip joint. So one would need to do the
“Y” split. With king Fu shoes firmly embracing the feet, lower ends of
pants tightly tucked in thick socks, we would do the “Y” split. The goal
was to get our crotch as low to the ground as possible. The ultimate
achievement would be the actual contact of our private parts to the ground.
To “break in” the cracking of our crotches we often had our “Sawoling”
brothers push us on our head towards the gravity. Painful as it might be,
we all wanted to be Monkey Kung Fu master. There were numerous jumps we
often made through our balconies to be a well synchronized Monkey master.

We pursued our Kung Fu ambition for a long time until “Break Dance” movies
started showing up in Makhan mini-theatres. Soon we saw rapid decline in
Kung Fu interest and we started developing good taste for breaking different
joints of our bodies. We tried the ground rotation moves, the hand wave
actions, and not to mention the virtual mirror enclosed box act. Soon we
saw “Break Dance” competition in every Gallies of Kathmandu.

Now I do not know whether “Punk” movement got started before “Break Dance”
mania. But in any case, the “Punk” revolution had us do some weird things.
We wanted to show off our spiky metallic belts, leather jackets with all the
medals and honors we never received and also chains and locks for our own
protection from rough Galli neighborhood. Some even went so far as having
their hair spiked up with tons of hair gel. Thanks to Makhan Galli movies,
we were able to experience cultures from China to Czech Republic. We had
variety in our lives.

Having said all that, it is funny how we were so much influenced by other
culture when we were growing up in Kat-man-du. I do not know what kind of
impact those mosaic cultures had on my psychology, but I surely had fun.